Catch and Release

Many people commented offering advice with Mr.B and wanted to know what ended up happening...

He asked me out for a third time and I agreed. I was really torn after that last blog because I liked the guy, and I did not feel like another date was 'settling.' I agreed for a few reasons: 1) I did not feel like two dates had been sufficient to really know his heart, and 2) I did not feel that my conviction for abstinence was in any danger. He was a man who had a good career and money, and was used to women dating him for the latter. It's great he has done well for himself, but a Porshe in the garage "don't impress me much!" So I was ready to get to know Mr. B on a deeper level and see what else he was about.

Unfortunately, that particular Wednesday we were to go out, I had way too much going on and had to cancel. I am not playing games here, but I rationalized if he really wanted to get to know me better and was willing to wait for sex, he would ask me out again.

A few days of texting with Mr.B, he still had not picked up the phone and called me. I mentally wrote him off over the weekend, but Monday morning I found several texts from him. He suggested I could invite him over in when I am in my new place. (I'm thinking, "okay, in another 45 days?") I am not a chaser--I like to let a guy call me, so I think I am going to let this fish go...

Dating, Rhymes with Waiting.

Home buying is also synonymous with waiting--I am learning, but that does not make a great title. :) After waiting for almost a year for my townhouse, it will be mine this coming week. My apologies for not writing earlier, as my hand has had a cramp in it from all the document signing.

I have taken a break from dating. It has been somewhat forced because my focus has been solely work and house. Period. I went on a few small dates here and there, one coffee and some small dinner outings. Nothing to write blog about. I made a vow to be more open about the type of guy I would go out with, but I am finding out that there is a serious chemistry deficiency when going down this route. Still, I get to meet new people and expand my world, without dissecting them with the marriage scalpel.

Even though I am meeting new people and having a great time, it can also be VERY discouraging. Sometimes I wonder if this is an area that God hears me in. I am conflicted inside when my doubts and feelings conflict with His word. I am reminded over and over again how much He cares and how He hears my prayers. Sometimes the worldly view gets in the way--through friends. I have some friends that LOVE to point to scarcity, causing knots in my stomach. "You know Michele, everyone is going to have baggage. You should just be happy to meet a guy with a job and who is Christian..." or "the older you get, the less available men there are," or better yet "you need to get back dating because the good ones get snatched up really fast!" Really? Seriously? God knows how old I am, and knows every hair on my head. I have faith that He really cares about EVERY aspect of my life, including who I date and marry. Is it really possible that the CREATOR of the Universe can be "run out" of good, single Christian men? Is He limited in no areas except for that? Am I going to die an old spinster, and when I get to heaven God will say, "Michele, I had the perfect guy for you, but you should have stayed on eHarmony for another month--he was right around the corner!"

So I have this cat. He knows I adore him. And he knows he gets fed twice a day. I don't dangle kitty food in front of his face and not give it to him. But even still, there are times that he gets so impatient, he jumps onto the table and then to the counter as I am dishing out the food. And he gets disciplined. He is not allowed to be on the counter! I have to remember that God knows what I am hungry for, and He is happily preparing it because He adores us. I just have to be patient and wait for the good stuff.

Fish or Cut Bait?

Monday night was the big night out with Mr. B. I was super excited and felt little butterflies well up in my stomach when I thought about it.

Earlier in the day, I had attended a parenting class at church. Not really focused on the lesson, I distractedly prayed that God would speak to me and guide my steps for this date, even though this was not a serious thing just yet. True to His promise, we ask for wisdom and He freely gives it.

Ironically, the scripture for the parenting class that day was on 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. "Don't team up with those who are unbeleivers... and SEPARATE yourselves from them..." (NLT) As Christians, we are called to be separate.

Sitting across from Mr. B and talking about sex and why I abstain (for nth time) was exhausting. I kept thinking that even though last year he was baptized, there was nothing that I could see that seemed "separate." He was only hitting the tip of the iceberg with his faith. I want to date someone who is strong in their faith, or at least feels strongly convicted in the same areas that
I do.

Talking to a yoga/pilates hard-bodied friend last night, I tried to explain it like this. "You are super fit and fitness is your life. What if you met a great guy, but he sat on his ass watching T.V. and eating Cool Ranch Doritos all day long? Sure, he might "respect" your fitness goals and what you are doing with your life, but he probably won't encourage you and challenge you in those goals." Not to mention, sooner or later, you will end up on the couch next to him asking him to pass chips as you unbutton the top button of your pants to breathe easier.

Everything else about Mr.B is awesome. Tall, funny, good looking, fit, sweet, talkative, sucessful, active, interesting, obvisouly likes me, no games...

Having this conversation with many women wiser than I, I am still at a loss on whether to fish with Mr. B or cut bait. On one hand, one more date won't hurt. Sure, he is not perfect, but who is? Maybe this is an area that he can and will grow in? And since we've only been on two dates, its not like I'm making a huge decision.

On the other, why waste his time? Or mine? Words of a Brad Paisley song swim in my head... "Oh lookie here, another bite..." This girl might just have to keep on fishin', cause apparently there is plenty of fish in the sea...